Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice. -Philippians 4:4
I want to be mad, I want to tell you everything I (strongly) dislike about the Army. However, somehow I feel like that isn't what the Lord wants me to convey this deployment. The past few weeks have been nothing short of amazing, yet some of the most dreadful days of my life as well. There are no real words or ways to tell you how truly awful it is to have your husband deploy. I thought I had sympathy for my friends whose husbands have deployed in the past, but there is really no way to understand the devastation, hurt and loneliness unless you have experienced it yourself (which I don't recommend). I've shed more tears than I thought my body was capable of producing, worried and pondered things no wife or mom should ever have to, watched my son wave goodbye to his best bud and daddy without a clue that he won't see him again for a very long time, and watched my husband say goodbye to our sweet newborn who he will barely recognize when he gets home; however, I have also had some of the sweetest and heartfelt hugs and kisses that I never want to forget, cherished every single moment our family has spent together, and am more thankful than ever for my amazing handsome and Godly husband and father of our two boys. Therefore, I will rejoice in The Lord as He has commanded me. His plan and purpose for this deployment is far greater than I can imagine, so I will put my trust in Him, for my God is faithful. Yes, even today (one of my worst) is the day The Lord has made, so I will rejoice.
Don't be fooled. I am no superwoman. I am not resilient. This attitude does not come easy. It took me falling to the lowest of lows, curled up on the floor of our bedroom sobbing, pleading to God for anything. I am not perfect, but God is. I knew I couldn't continue our last few days as a family together sobbing uncontrollably at everything. There had to be a better solution. I wanted to be joyful but truly didn't know how I could, knowing the impending doom. My sweet husband told me start small and force myself to say aloud the things I was thankful for. I turned on Christian music anytime I felt depressed. Between diaper changes and Cheerios I stood in the kitchen searching my bible for every verse where God commands us to rejoice and be thankful. When my thoughts started spiraling downward I prayed to be overcome with patience, strength, joy and contentment. For I know this is the will of God.
The joy of the Lord is your strength. -Nehemiah 8:10
Lord,
I need you now more than ever before. You are my rock and the stronghold of my life. Give me patience and understanding beyond belief. Let my heart be thankful and my attitude joyful. Teach me to be content in every situation. I praise you Lord for you are my everything.
Amen
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. - Proverbs 17:22
I am thankful for the great men and women in the Army who serve our country selflessly.
I am thankful for the option to live on post, with great neighbors.
I am thankful for the never ending adventures the army provides.
I am thankful for the opportunity to travel places we otherwise wouldn't because of the army.
I am thankful for amazing friends we've met because of the army.
I am thankful Shane has a stable job.
I am thankful for the 4 day weekends and block leave that the army provides.
I am thankful for 100% coverage of all our healthcare needs.
I am thankful for the forced closeness the Army has brought our family.
Yes, I will even be thankful for the Army.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God. -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
